Referral Programs
by scorpiris
Summary: ...or Lex buys discount. Because it's for Clark, who is a show-tune singing cheapo.


It was very bright and early when Lex appeared on Clark's doorstep, all fresh and casual like. There was a smile on Lex's face because Clark wore a Lex-approved combination of button-down shirt and slacks. Clark deluded himself that he wasn't dressing to please. Lex told him that the driving seat of his Bugatti was Clark's reward.

It was even brighter when they pushed past those ornate double doors of the Lex's favorite jeweler. Clark made the requisite joke about Alexabeth Taylor, a traditional jab he started with Luthor-bride number how-many. It was that or an Alexandry the Eighth, Clark had said like a throwaway afterthought, but Clark couldn't imagine Lex as a violent overly fat king that blew up when he died. Lex deluded himself that it was his impassioned lectures that made Clark a history buff, and not the infinite reruns of Horrible Histories (but since it was Lex who bought the Complete Series Deluxe DVD box set, and it was Lex's wide screen TV and Lex's THX surround sound system in Lex's media room, Lex was going to take credit anyhow.)

Anyway, Lex always gave free rein to his each of his fiancees on wedding ring designs, but he always insisted on picking them up when they're done. He never gave them any reasons as to why, but to Clark he mumbled something about keeping them safe. Clark was added security. Never mind that nobody would dare rob a Luthor in Metropolis nowadays. Clark had learned to shut up about things, going along every time, even though he swore that each time would be the last.

It would always go like this, every time. Lex was really big on traditions, somehow. Always a new car. A whole day affair, always early and always bright-as though Lex was secretly a weather mage. Then lunch, at their favorite restaurant-a place where, curiously, they never visited without the other. Then, either the museum or someplace new, followed by old haunts and fond memories. It was Lex's version of a bachelor's party, these days. A party of two. Always.

* * *

This time around, Old Giovanni wasn't there to greet them, having moved on to the great diamond mine in the sky a few months before. Instead, a woman stood in his stead. Maria-Agnes was the only one out of Old Giovanni's dozen children who wanted anything to do with his business and she ran it much like the old man did. Lex liked her, and was more than amused to learn that Mercy and Hope didn't. They had a history, Maria-Agnes explained vaguely and Lex left it at that.

She produced two rings just as the two men walked into her store. Clark whistled when he saw the one "for her". Every facet might as well had a Shirley Bassey signature soundtrack to go with it. Humming discretely under his breath, Clark noted that it had been a while since he saw such an outright act of gold digging, most of them tended to be a bit more subtle. Lex's ring was always the same design, the only one he could tolerate. Only one bride was stupid enough to force her design on him, Clark couldn't remember if she'd ever made it to the aisle.

Lex made some noise about paperwork and disappeared into the back office with Maria-Agnes, leaving Clark alone in a room full of expensive things. It was deathly quiet; Clark thought he could hear minerals grow under glass. The store was always closed whenever Lex had an appointment there, not one employee, not even a single security guard.

There's no clock he could see, and he had forgotten to wear his watch. But he was sure that Lex had been gone an awful long time. He tried not to eavesdrop, because he would never misuse his powers like that, no siree. Maria-Agnes was not currently in a relationship, he remembered being told. He thought that she and Lex would make a handsome couple. Better than Lex and Lucinda Lucas, anyway. That go~ld-dig-_gah_.

"Are you humming James Bond?" Lex materialized out of nowhere, almost sending Clark into the nearest display case. Lex had an amused look on his face.

"Uh... are you done?"

"Almost," Lex said as he sat back down across Maria-Agnes, who seemed to be a master at materializing out of nowhere too. Lex scribbled something on the store's stationery. Even without his super-squint (as Lex called it), he could pick out Mrs. B's name from amongst Lex's scribble. Clark couldn't believe he actually forgot Lex's Metropolis cook's wedding anniversary. Though it seemed Lex hadn't. Looking away from the paper, Clark suddenly found him trapped under Maria-Agnes's heavy gaze.

"So, Clark," she began, leaning across glass towards him. A subtle scent wafted towards him, like those flowers his mother really liked. "Why don't you ever buy anything from me?"

"Uh..."

"Papa liked you, you know. Used to design stuff he hoped you could use," she said with a sad smile. "They sell well, those designs, even now. You're like papa's unofficial muse." She leaned back. "So..."

_What do you say when you get told things like that_, Clark wondered. For all his journalistic abilities, he would always remain socially tongue-tied until forever.

"Don't let her talk you into things. Sob stories sell well, you know. Oldest damn trick in the book," Lex turned around on his seat, sliding pen and paper across the surface towards Maria-Agnes's waiting hands.

"Well," she shrugged unapologetically. "But seriously, not even a tie tack? Small aquamarine detail? Agate? Pāua shell even?"

"Next you'll be offering him some cz," Lex smiled fondly, even as Maria-Agnes crossed herself earnestly.

"We have some great installment plans, Clark." Maria-Agnes could recognize a susceptible prey if she ever saw one.

"Once you get into debt with her, you can't get out of it, though," Lex added, smirking at her glare.

"These are on discount," she said, already pulling out a tray, followed by another. Clark saw rings, bracelets, tie pins, cufflinks, and stuff he didn't even know the name of, never mind the use of. "And completely in your price range."

"I have a price range now?" Clark squeaked in the face of defeat. Jewelry buying was definitely not on his list when he walked in here, but it seemed that he wouldn't be able to leave without one.

"Just pick one, Clark, before we lose our lunch reservation." Although Lex looked like he wasn't in a hurry at all.

"All the standard services, free engraving, lifetime warranty," she smiled sweetly as she watched Clark lean down to peer at the trays. "I'll even shine them myself whenever you want," she said, waggling her eyebrow suggestively.

Clark hemmed and hawed over one particular tray, and almost took a finger in his eye when he moved the same time she pointed. "How about this ring? Simple, manly, not gaudy but heavy enough to leave a bruise when you punch someone's face with it."

"It looks nice," Clark hedged. The ring twinkled at him.

"I'm willing to bet it's in your size too, so you can walk out with it right now," she grinned.

"We'll take it," a Lex-sounding voice chirped from somewhere beside him.

"We?"

"I'll pay for it, and you'll pay for lunch. There's no way you're taking a credit line here. Loan sharks are remoras compared to her." Content with his decision, Lex slid off his seat to get a good look at Clark's ring. "Good choice." Lex commented idly. "So, shouldn't I get a referral reward?" Lex asked, twirling his newest acquisition between his fingers.

"Not applicable on discounted products, Lex," Maria-Agnes parried from under the counter with all the boxes and ribbons.

"This is how you treat a loyal customer. My business put you through college, you know," Lex chided, even as he blindly reached out for Clark's hand, sliding the ring down one finger, a serious look on his face. "Perfect," Lex commented possibly to himself. "She's always good at guessing ring sizes," he told Clark unnecessarily, but Clark was too stunned to give a rejoinder.

"Not guessing!" she digressed, placing two boxes in a paperbag and sliding it across towards Lex. "Here you go." She walked around the counter and ushered the men towards the front of the shop. "I'll send all the rest to the addresses you gave me."

* * *

It wasn't until they pulled out of the parking space, that Clark began to come to his senses. Two more traffic lights, some more dawning. He could see the restaurant from here, just beyond the park and two rows of parked car.

"Did.. did you just buy me a ring?" Clark wondered what kind of a question was that. It sounded lame even to his ears.

A car pulled out of a tree-shaded parking space. Clark found himself impatiently waiting for the light to turn green.

"Quick, grab that space!" Lex stated the obvious while jabbing his finger against the windshield. "I think the pink Ferrari behind us wants it!" Clark peeked through the rearview mirror to confirm that, yes, a shade of pink such as that did exist in this universe. Lex sounded more affronted about a pink-colored Ferrari than of the prospect of losing a space.

Clark maneuvered the car neatly into the space, in a way that would honor the name of his first driving teacher (Jonathan Kent) and would give the car's vanity plate justice.

Clark watched Lex frown as the pink Ferrari zoomed by, then overtaken by a Honda convertible. He couldn't quite see the driver of that car, but he didn't quite care. "Lex, I asked..."

"Referral reward," Lex quickly replied, cutting Clark's interrogation attempt with a shaky grin. "Do you know how hard it is to get freebies from that family?" Lex fished out a box from inside the bag. Triumphant.

Clark opened the lid and felt an odd rush of blood to his head. A ring sat in the middle, reflecting the sun even through the shade. "Simple, manly, heavy," Maria-Agnes spoke in his head. He took it out, held it in his palm. It nestled next to the outline of the one he's wearing, and Clark marveled at its symmetry. It wasn't like any ring Clark had seen Lex order for himself, not the shape, definitely not the price. Clark looked up and saw Lex studying him. Serious, and open and very dear.

Clark didn't have the years of experience Maria-Agnes had with people's fingers, never made anything for Lex to wear like second skin. But Clark saw it in Lex's eyes, and heard it in the soft exhalations and the murmur of heartbeat underneath. He felt it in the thrum of engines and the chaos of the world outside. He knew that if he were to be daring this once,

to cross this last distance, reach out,

and slide it home, it would be...

"Perfect."


End file.
